hehe, this is only the place which not much people will read, can talk about my guy le... >.<
in case some ppl dunno, im attached to a guy who is tan. muscular, from dragon boat, and is super loving... >.<

name?? haha, jasper... >.< (not jasper gan or jasper chia, ppl... =_=)

how we met?? hmm..... he was my orientation group leader... as i appealed in through my cca, i missed out the first day of orientation... during the second day, as i was getting orientation shoe bag and stuff, i was intro-ed to him by the container class room.... my first reaction was, stunned.... why is there a familiar feeling that i knew him some where??? and at first, he look like xuan ning... really.... i shooked his hand, and said:"you look like one of my friend... a girl one" haha!!

at first, he was just like anybody in the sch to me, someone whom you met, and will forget soon, it all started during valentine's day....

during that day, he made a straw rose for me, i was really surprised and pleased... he was sabo-ed to go on stage and do some guess the lyrics game, and here starts our never ending smsing to each other...

after the celebration, i went back to damai, and on the way, i lost the rose... T.T told him that, and he said its okay... when sch starts again, he presented me 13 roses.. all hand made... and during the chinese new yr, we smsed each other like, 800 each?? cant remember... now, its usual for me to clear my inbox once every 3 days, due to the enormous amount of smses...

how we get together??? hmm.. i dunnooo..... no confession from him, i guess we just naturally be together... slowly, in sch, ppl started noticing our relatioship, and boomed... every where we go, there is so much attention.. friends start asking "you got boy friend why never tell me? so bad"

now the attention has died down, and we went on our first date after the sch's sports carnival... didnt know that walking around the mall could be so interesting... we watched percy jackson and the lightning thief, (first tym for him, and 2nd time for me) and held hands.... so its like, first time holding a guy's hand, first love, first time walking around the mall happily...

he is a great guy... always worrying for me, always making me laugh, always making sure i eat, and always loving me... he wont get attracted to pretty girls as we went out, i observed.... haha, and we talked about marrying in future, how many kids to have, what is going to happen next yr (he is going into the army next yr), never ending stuff.... haha... we only took a picture, which is us holding hands, i mean just the hands only.... haha.... maybe next tym i'll take more pictures with him and ket you guys see how he looks like,.... he is like a mystery to all my friends... >.

what the hell....
i really very fustrated now....
my mother tell me find my dream, see what i wanna be in the future, i found my dream,
and then, when get results, she now insist i go to jc....
what the hell!!!!! practically crushing my dreams...
nag nag nag,
help my brother with his homework, check whether he has homework, watch him practise piano, give him assessments to do, fetch him from school, bring him to schoool, what am i?????!!!!!!!!!!!

your freaking guinea pig, your free maid, your nanny for child, your puppet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHOULD I JUST GO DIE???


keep saying i'm lazy, sae i never help out at home, when the maid dun let me do anything, you expect me to learn your trade, when i tried to, yet you dun have the freaKking patience to teach me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


FINE!!!!!!!!! I SHALL DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT ME TO, SATISFIED????!!!!!!!!! BLOODY F***KER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haiz.... today, i wondered and thought about alot of stuff.... and i find myself slowly falling in love... wad should i do??? hmm, think this feeling will slowly go away....


here goes my randomness....

why do it have to be guys that confess to a gal and not a gal first?? the teenage mag, the dear kelly part says that guys should confess first, and not girls... hmm.... wonder if u got the same feeling as me???


today had a great time, laugh myself silly as i see sharol tease alexis til he blush, get "annoyed" and have to "bribe" sharol to stop torturing him.... haha!! alexis is so cute... oh ya, guys dun like it when gals sae them cute... cute means adorable and pretty to me, not adorable but ugly... haha...


my eyes keep getting red and tired as night nears... oouuccchhhh, i have to keep dripping eye drops.... and just found out that my night blindness have gotten worst... haiz, can't even see where i'm going in the dark... hmm, must eat more carrot... but i dun like the taste... how?? hmm... haha, shall blend carrot with apple to drink... it wil at least taste better and not so easily to make me puke it out....

I MISS 4E1!!! HAHA!!! shall i list out wad i miss??

Alexis's cuteness
Atiqah's chattiness
Brenda's dancing
Miss Carol's girlyness
Chin Yeh's helpfulness
Mr Cho's jokes and care
Colin's loudness
Darwis's jokes
Mrs E. Lee's motherlyness
Gladys's straight forward attitude
Jasmine's nagging
Jamie's sports
Jennifer's animes
Jing Ru's tallness
Jolene's "good morning~~" (makes me cry the last tym she said it)
Kea Hoa's warmness
Khee Hwee's playfulness
Mrs lam's never giving up on me's attitude
Le tong's blurness
Mrs lee P K's guidance
Mrs loke's " class, stop what you are doing, look up here"
Man fung's sicko-ness
Marion's care
Mei Qing's laughter
Nurin's quietness
Ms pang's fun, care and shoulder to cry on
Pei ling's love for SS501 and anything korean!
Pei wei's funniness
Mr Phoa's bouncy-ness
Reng Hong's "gayness"
Sae Yeoh's everything
Sakinah's " watch porn!!"
Shane's henpecked-ness
Sharol's atmosphere maker!!
Shi hui's "eh, class~~~~"
Sock Min's "act as xue yi 2"
Sumiyati's retorts
Stephanie's singing
Wan Lei's pretty eyes
Wan Rong's "one wrong~"
Wei Chyi's "super junior, sorry sorry sorry~~"
Wilson's smartness
Xuan ning's coolness
Xue Yi, my memories of you all!!
Yin Ru's Chattiness
Zazz's friendlyness
Zi Yun's "shane~~~~~!!!!!!!"



HAHA!! had a hard tym rearranging all the names in order... seriously miss you all so much....

i miss you
i really do
i miss your warm smile
your fussing
your guidance
your love
i miss everything concerning you


i felt hurt
that you broke your promise just the next day after you have made it
you promise you would come and stay with us
and yet
you went to live with grandpa
for eternity
never ever coming back again


for that five days after you went
i drown myself in guilt, misery, anger and remorsefulness
hoping that all this is a joke
that you will come back to us again
your hand still felt warm even after you have gone
you look as if you were sleeping
i called you to wake up
yet you ignored me
i pleaded, raged, sobbed
till my throat is sore and hoarse
yet you just lie there
sleeping on forever


i miss you, i really do
i still cried myself to sleep often
you went to heaven
on the same date
same time
as grandpa did
leaving us
your children
grandchildren
great grand children
all behind
crying our hearts out


thousands of thoughts raced through my mind
why why why why
and then i realised
that you meant so much to me


people say
that we must treasure our loved ones
and not cry with remorse
when they are gone
i finally understands why
but there is no use
anymore
you have already left us

there are still thousands of things i wanted to tell you
yet, i am unable to express all of it
but all i know is
i love you very much

woah, i haven't blog for 5 weeks.. think i won't be blogginf for another 3 to 4 weeks... >.<  o lvl.. haiz... must work hard for it!!!!!!!!!

hey ppl, those who like boys over flowers, suju, dbsk, shinee, should go to this blogshop  www.myccube.blogspot.com  there's really awesome stuffs there!! >.< but it may be a little costly though.. i bought quite a number of stuffs there already...  >.< 

have to go and study!!  byebye!!

today's my birthday... and i got such a great surprise...  thank you friends!! especially sae yeoh for spending so much time on it... >.<   now using the new desktop.. >.< but ltr i'm going to revise a little for chem... >.<    will opload pictures of the presents ltr... its just soo nice!!! full of memories...   just right for such a forgetful person like me... >.<  thank you my dear friends!!  love you all forever!!! >.<

I'm falling sick...  T.T  my nose is running, my head is heavy, my back is aching, and i can't walk few steps without being exhausted...  omg.. what's happening to me???  o lvl is coming soon, and i'm totally not prepared for it... i have not start revising yet... 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!! >.<  44TH BIRTHDAY!!!  >.< and happy birthday to wei jie too!! oh wow, 61 years old, isn't he old... >.< then 2moro, 10th of august is nasir's birthday, and 11th of august is keahoa's birthday..

and on 13th of august, its my birthday!!!! my parents sure forget about it...  any way, not that i care...  there's a chem preprelim that day....   people are sure to forget about it... any way.. haiz... won't expect people to remember it....   i'm nothing... haiz... >.<

i'm totally not prepared and scared of o levels and prelim... think i wil go to the library to study there...  but which libray should i go to???  hmm...  i'm not sure too... think i'm going to bedok lib...  >.<  hopre i won't get distracted by all the books in the library... should i call my cousin to revise together too??? think that i should... hmm,  kae, will contact her and see how it goes...